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I CONSIDER MYSELF A DEVOUT  FEMINIST BUT I DO USE THE WORD CUNT A LOT




All of the times Reductress rejected me, yay!

(Pitched one-liners/listicles/articles that never made the cut but at least I tried right)


* 5 Subtle Hints You Can Give The Guy Next Door That Say "I Constantly Hear You Masturbating"


* The Proposal: I Was On The Toilet Pooping When He Got Down On One Knee


* 6 Hoodies That You Can Drape Over Your Shoulders For When You Accidentally Attend A Cocktail Party


* My Mother Asked If She Could Take Her Imaginary Grandchildren To The Zoo And I Said Yes


* 7 Guys Names To Blurt Out During Sex That Will Make Him Realize You Haven't Been Working Late After All


* Cleavage Or Side Boob: New iPhone App Helps You Decide Which Look Is Best For Dinner With The Family


* 7 Things You Should Know Before Dating Kevin From Loss Prevention


* 6 Teeny Tiny Tops For Summer That Say "On Wednesdays We Show Our Back Fat"


* Top Beauty Expert Reveals How You Can Get $500 Worth Of Makeup For Just Under $1000


* 12 Soothing Herbal Teas That Will Probably Not Stop You From Punching Sheila From Accounting In The Face


* 8 Executive Pant Suits That Scream "27 Is The New 67"​​



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M e l i s s a   L o g s d o n
Comedy Writer/Actress/Vo